Alternate States News

Sigmund Freud, the father of Psychiatry, said that men had a sexual thought consciously or subconsciously every 3 seconds. He timed it like a racehorse when he wasn’t busy having sexual relations with his mother. Psychiatrists go to school for 22 years, subject themselves to years of Psychotherapy, then sit while you ramble and beg for advice for 45 minutes, only to say at the end, “What do you think? I’m afraid our time is up for this week.” You could go insane merely from their torture tactics.

Obviously penis size matters to a woman. Penises range in size from 1’ to 14” on men. The longer and wider and harder the penis, the more friction is created, the deeper the penetration, and the more likely the woman is to achieve vaginal orgasm. However other things are more important to a woman, such as extended foreplay, clitoral stimulation to orgasm, g spot stimulation to orgasm, and length of time after intercourse before the man hails a cab, generally anywhere from 5 to 7 minutes on average.

Size definitely matters to women, but it matters far more to men. Penis envy is not a female phenomenon despite the ravings of the incestuous Dr. Freud. Penis envy is a male phenomenon. Envying the length and width of the black penis is at the root of the Klu Klux Klan, says Mariah Carey. According to research done at Heidelberg University, it is a scientific fact that the purchases of Corvettes and BMW’s are inversely proportional to the length of a man’s penis. Men think that if they have an expensive fancy car then women will think that they are financially successful and will date them, leading other men to think that they are stacked.

The basic theme of any male Rap song and video is always the same. “I am the coolest most hung baddest dude in town and I can ride you all night long.” This is always backed up by half naked stunning harem women slithering around the artist. The lack of a white boxing champion for the past 75 years since Rocky Marciano, has led white men to flock to seven sequels of the Rocky movie. Rocky is now coming out of retirement, the “Italian Stallion”, for a rematch against Kanye West, who has been paid 5 million dollars to take a dive in the fifth, to soothe the wounded egos of male White America, and that’s what it’s all about anyway, “Ego”.

The Ego is the part of the brain that either says in your mind, “I am wonderful”, or “I am garbage.” The “Id” is the part of your brain that says “I want food, water, sex etc.” The Ego is what causes men to desire multiple partners endlessly through cyber dating, because once a woman gives in, no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how loving and caring, she has now lost the ability to give to the man the thing he wants most to boost his Ego, that initial conquest, that triggers in the man’s mind, “I am great, I conquered her.” Men need this to compensate for wounded Egos received at the hands of their insecure fathers, because criticism and control make the father feel great, to compensate for their own reality, unfulfilled wives due to their tiny narrow limp phallus. This is the root cause of the male mid life crisis, leading to divorce and insecure offspring because the male now needs a young wife the same way that he needs a Corvette. Have you ever noticed the shape of a Corvette?

This would all be bad enough but size issues are at the root of male competitiveness in both sports and war. Kim Jong Il, the mini me leader of North Korea has a stable of gorgeous young blonde American women, to make up for his tiny thang. “That’s all you got, baby?” Those words led to the swift execution of a one hit wonder American Diva who was all into the Grace Kelly thing. This would be bad enough, but the development of nuclear weapons and the verbal bravado of this midget against the United States is directly linked to the madman midget’s size insecurity. Ironically midgets are generally very well endowed in proportion to their body size, and this is why they have such confidence. A well known self confidence building mantra used extensively by the Moonies, is “My rooster is huge and hard, and I can ride you all night long.” The problem has become so bad, that erectile dysfunction has become the third leading growth industry worldwide, and men are running for medication named after the enormous gushing of the massive powerful power generating Niagara Falls, even knowing that it causes a rare but pervasive form of blindness.

Martha Stewart has a solution for this insecurity problem which is now leading us all into the Apocalypse, the sudden violent end of all life on Earth forever. The Christian people are eagerly constructing and waiting for the Apocalypse, so that when it comes, after about 30 seconds, they can all say as One, “Look, we were right!” This need to be right, and this unbearable pain of being wrong, is a direct result of penis insecurity.

Martha’s solution is that all men be forced to wear their bag and their bone on their foreheads, for all to see, to instantly put an end to all the b/s and bluffing leading us all into the nuclear inferno. Oprah seconds the motion. She has the most to lose, according to Dr. Phil, the bald barking know it all with the 3 inch penis. Our modern Dr. Freud wears a sock folded in his pants to hide his shortcomings. Maybe an international naked at work day is the answer for saving life on earth. Maybe the Apocalypse won’t be that bad. At least it will put an end to the zillions of Erectile Dysfunction (medications for 1 inch shriveled up things that refuse to stand up no matter how much kiddy porn the man watches) emails in our email boxes. How do these snake oil salesmen get our addresses anyways? Why aren’t they all blind yet? The insecurity disease has now spread to women rushing for breast implants, and to the male obsession with increasing their Google Page Ranking. Have you ever noticed the graphic that Sergey Brin and Larry Page use to display that ranking? They didn’t become zillionaires at 32 by being oblivious to the male fixation with size now, did they?

Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles California. http://www.thetempleoflove.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Fish

By Grant Day
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider. Seduction tips for men and women.

Okay, like I said last time the best sex positions are the ones that allow both you and your partner to experience the greatest pleasure and to come to an orgasm. In this era of easy access to porn many people (ah yeah guys, usually that’s you) forget that what they find erotically stimulating to watch won’t pack the same erotic punch when they themselves are in these very same positions.
In a nutshell most men need to learn more about positions and techniques that will make women happy because two of the biggest complaints women have are:

1. Not enough direct clitoral stimulation so the possibility of an orgasm is mute.

2. Not enough time spent in the right position so they have time to become aroused enough to achieve an orgasm.

Men, on the other hand, worry more about keeping it up long enough to make all of this happen. It’s a lot of pressure. That’s again why it’s crucial to remember that great communication is the golden key to sex.

Also, men need to realize that relying only on intercourse to make a woman happy can be a very tough job. The smart man makes sure the woman has her first orgasm via oral sex or manual stimulation first to make sure she’s totally ready, willing and able to make the most of intercourse.

Okay, so let’s get down to it and talk about positions that will bring more sizzle into your sex life:

Spooning

No, the spooning position isn’t the one for vigorous thrusting, however, even though the couple aren’t facing it can be amazingly intimate if it’s properly taken advantage of. What do I mean by this? Well, for starters it’s the easiest position for a woman to show a man exactly how she needs to be touched, so there can be very sexy interplay between the two of you. It’s also a position where men can use the power of their voice to bring the woman to a new level of arousal.

Women are aural, meaning they’re very turned on by the sound of a man’s voice, and what he says. The smart man learns to use his voice to his advantage with a woman; both in how he sounds, and the sorts of things he says to turn her on. Men can use their voice to keep a woman’s focus on the sensations in her body, and can make her feel at east and totally desired by what he chooses to say during these intimate moments. Add to this that he can put his lips against her ear and say things in a sexy whisper and things get really hot.


She Sits He Stands

This is the position for all of you who love the thrill of having sex in someplace other than the bedroom. All you need is a counter top that’s at the right hip level for the man and a little bit of privacy and you’re good to go. The obvious plusses of this position are the hot eye-to eye contact, the deep thrusting potential, and that the woman doesn’t get fatigued the way she can during “against the wall” intercourse – the guy gets fatigued but hey, that’s tough.

Note of caution, since intercourse in this position may be a “quick” interaction due to the location you need to make sure the woman is totally aroused or intercourse will be painful.


Backwards Cowgirl

This position is a variation on woman on top. Basically the woman straddles the guy facing his knees instead of, well, him. While not as intimate as any face-to-face position it can be a very pleasurable position for both parties involved (and hey, if you perform it in front of a mirror she gets to see everything too). Let’s break it down…the woman still controls the speed and movement so she can do what works best for her, the guy is given a great view of all the action (which we so love). The man can also give the woman added stimulation by reaching around and stroking her clitoris, or if she’s got that covered, he can give her added “pelvic floor” stimulation by stroking the very sensitive undersides of her buttocks, or, if both parties consent he can intensify the pleasure by directly stimulating her back door.


Watching the Tube

This position is a variation of the Backwards Cowgirl. The man sits on a couch or chair and the woman straddles him facing forward. Because both parties are sitting it allows a great amount of intimacy even though the couple isn’t face to face. The man can caress the woman’s breasts, neck, arms, and of course clitoris, or he can guide her hips to help control the movement. The woman needs only to have good thigh strength – and of course this position is a great thigh workout!

So there you have four positions to try your hands and bodies at and discovery new ways to bring each other greater pleasure. Remember that sexual intercourse isn’t a contest for physical endurance and flexibility (many men love to twist women into all sorts of shapes without reflecting on how uncomfortable they’d be in such positions) unless all you care about is physical endurance and flexibility. A flashy, aerobic position is pretty empty if it doesn’t bring the woman as much pleasure as it brings the man.

And to those men and women who feel they’re “purists” and don’t feel hands should be needed to give the woman additional stimulation may I remind you yet again that most women don’t have orgasms during plain old intercourse. So if this is you ladies, do you want to continue not to enjoy intercourse or would you like to get into the game and find out what all the fuss is about? And men, if this is you, what are you so threatened by? There’s absolutely nothing more thrilling than knowing exactly how to help your woman achieve an orgasm